Archives for November 2008

Not a lot of note has happened since I last updated.
I finally forced my sleep schedule back to a more normal pattern, now, how long can I keep it that way? who knows.
A few people clued into the fact that I’m single.
See what happens when you monitor my facebook?
You actually learn something!
Isn’t it amazing?
It certainly is!
I’m feeling depressed for some reason, I don’t know why.
I’ve been that way since like last monday. I’ve been getting depressed easily.
I think it’s the fact that christmas is coming and I’m really not expecting a lot, I know, I’m getting to see my parents, but really nothing more interesting than that.
I’ll post later on, or something.
take care yall.

Let’s give this post by e-mail thing a go. does twitter myspace and LJ
update? we’ll see

You’ve been livin’ way to long in broken promiseland
Your dreams crushed and scattered like a million grains of
sand
I’d love to be your redemption but I am just a man
And I may never be a hero
But I’m a rock you can lean on

If I don’t love you like you deserve
If I don’t stop every tear you’re cryin’
If I don’t make your life a heaven on this earth
I’ll die tryin’ I’ll die tryin’

I’ll listen to your secret prayer and share your deepest wish
Search for a hundred years just to find the perfect kiss
Of everything within’ my power there’s nothin’ I won’t give
To be that part of you and your life
That takes what’s wrong and makes it right

If I don’t love you like you deserve
If I don’t stop every tear you’re cryin’
If I don’t make your life a heaven on this earth
I’ll die tryin’ I’ll die tryin’

I may never be a hero
But I’m a rock you can lean on
I wanna be that part of you and your life
That takes what’s wrong and makes it right

If I don’t love you like you deserve
If I don’t stop every tear you’re cryin’
If I don’t make your life a heaven on this earth

I’ll die tryin’
I’ll die tryin’
I’ll die tryin’

Don’t just call it quits say there’s no chance for you out
there
I know you’re at a crossroads where love doesn’t seem to be
fair
He made no effort to satisfy all your hopes and dreams
But if you’ll give love another shot and look to me

I’ll die trying
Hold on to me show me your needs
I’ll fly higher
Give what I can give as sure as I live
I’ll die tryin’

Mirrored from shane's rants!.

It’s just after 4AM as I sit and write this.
On tonight’s show I played a song I thought I cuold handle, but it turned out I couldn’t.
The song was josh groban’s to where you are.
It brought back the memory of tracey, who died, god rest her soul, of a fatal gunshot wound back in late september of this year.
Her and I were so close, she meant so much to me.
I keep asking myself, what if things had been different, what if we left a little later, would she still be alive?
Their aren’t words to describe what she meant to me.
She was everything to me, we just clicked, we made each other so happy in so many different ways.
Even when I felt like seven layers of hell she was right their, my red headed companion to make me feel happy again.
Even everyone in the online community that she spoke to and who interacted with me at the same time saw a marked change in my attitude.
I was happy, I had a new lease on life!
That day in september really killed me, really shook my trust in loving someone.
Those who have dated me are probably gonna tell me how much of a god damn ass I am and so on but if you don’t like what I’ve got to say, your welcome to stop reading.
Losing Tracey was like losing apart of me, it was like someone took a spoon and scoopped my insides out and threw them away.
I’ll be brutily honest and point blank with everyone, I have never totally recovered from it, and probably never will. everyone thinks I’ve moved on but the sad and hard truth is that I still remember, I lie awake at night unable to sleep and cry because I miss her so much. She meant the world to me, she never needed to die that way. Nobody deserves to die that way.
She was the person I turned to when I needed a sholder to cry on, she held me at night when I felt everyone else had abandoned me. she kept me from taking the easy way out more times then I care to count.
Their’s really only two other people that come close to being what tracey was to me

and

you both have done so much for me and I thank you so much for being their and making me see that I can still move on, even though it’s so damn hard to.
well I’m getting tired fingers, an di need to find something to eat.
sorry for the sadder entry.
talk soon with hopefully something more happy to write about.

hey again ya’ll
So I’m talking to


and

on skype and crystal’s about to head to bed smiles.
we’re all sitting in live journal and I thought I’d post again!
We’re talking a bout random inconsequential things.
Me and

are both posting entries. I wonder who will finish first? grins.
I’m tired and not tired at the same time.
I had a major asthma attack last night and that sucked monkey ass.
Anyhow, not much more to write.
I’ll post later on today.
take care ya’ll and keep on smilen!

hey ya’ll,
Yep learned a new word today.
I spent most of the day helping


and

install, configure, and update
vipre anti-virus+antiSpywear
That program in my opinion is the most accessible program around, and for the price, well worth the money.
Other than that nothing else much happening.
later ya’ll.

Ok, I’m not going to mention names here, but those who this is in reference to may know what I’m talking about.
As I was reviewing blogs tonight I came across and entry that was about me.
so as I started reading it and supposedly I told someone that told the person who’s blog I was reading that I supposedly stil had feelings for this person, and shit like that.
Let me tell everyone who reads this LJ, even though I am not in a relationship myself, that does not mean I have feelings for this individual, and I will find out who started this shit and put a stop to it faster than you can say hamburger helper.
The individual that I supposedly have feelings for is in a relationship, so blind community take your confounded shit and shove it up your ass!
For the record, on a radio show of mine, that is for entertainment only we did take bets on the relationship between the two individuals, an x of mine and the person she is dating, and it was the listeners putting in the opinions, and the opinions expressed by my listeners are their opinions and not mine.
If you have a problem with me, or you think I feel something, quit being a fucking coward about it and ask me! If you don’t it shows me you don’t have the balls to approach me and ask questions, because I don’t hide shit and I’ll tell you whatever the hell you want to know!
ok, that’s it for my rant for tonight.