the blog of a bear

this is where a bear will post stuff.

kerri

my thoughts on a set of twitter posts.

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so I haven’t posted in awhile, but this really has me wondering this individuals supposed love for this person, right here.

The following are 6 tweets that


Kerri Murtland


posted on


her twitter page.


They are below and numbered for your sanity.

1. Kerri Murtland: ok so as you all know Tuesday Im starting my STEPS program (specialized training and employment program) tbc… about 29 minutes ago at 12:59:40 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

2. Kerri Murtland: which means its another program to help me gain employment, Tuesday is also the day child tax credit is out. Tbc… about 27 minutes ago at 1:01:30 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

3. Kerri Murtland: so Josh calls me and asks if we can hang out said Tuesday, I said no Im busy why? His reply was tbc… about 25 minutes ago at 1:04:01 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

4. Kerri Murtland: because you get paid on Tuesday, Note to followers I had already stated that other than court Josh could not see me untill August tbc… about 23 minutes ago at 1:06:38 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

5. Kerri Murtland: If I get work who knows from there, Josh proceeded to pitch a fit because I cant buy his birthday present. Followers riddle me this. TBC… about 19 minutes ago at 1:10:43 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

6. Kerri Murtland: If someone claims they love you and their own selfish needs come before you bettering yourself is that love? Final. about 18 minutes ago at 1:11:54 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

Ok, so. let’s do what I do best and have fun with this.

Kerri, has on numorous occasions, told one Mr. Josh Remmelzwaal, (refered to as simply as *he* here on out), that, she does not love him, they *are* not in a relationship, no matter what his little head, between his legs wants to think, and to get over her and to fuck off.

Yes, I did say, the head between his legs.

This is the head he thinks with, and not the head between his ears. That particular organ is filled with air.

So he still doesn’t get this point.

Let’s move on to the reason for this post, that being, his selfish behavior.

Let’s for a second here say for the reasons of this post, that he had a snowballs chance in the firy depths of hell of getting back with kerri for a second chance.

We all know this isn’t true, but let’s pretend, ok?

So, if he truly loved Kerri. would he

*continuely put himself before her

*continuely ask for birthday presents from her?

*knowing that Kerri’s attempting to better her life, bother the crap out of her and want to hang out and when told know, flip a fit?

Um, no!

If you truly loved/cared about someone, in my mind, here’s how this works.

*you, sacrifice whatever you have to, in order to support the individual you want to be/are with.

*you stand by this individual, no matter what life throws at you both, and if this involves more sacrifice, you do it.

*you do not act like a selfish prat, and think your crap comes before the other persons. especially when it comes to finances, if you get a present/something from the person you are with, you be happy about it, but you don’t ask for stuff for your birthday. Kinda, rude, yeah?

TO summarize, in my mind, Mr. Josh, is a selfish, too faced, idiot, who thinks about nothing but himself, and how much he can screw others.

He has no idea of sacrifice, no idea of what it takes to support someone, unless it is bettering him.

If it doesn’t better him, or he’s not getting money, he doesn’t give a shit.

So, in closing, I’m gonna say this.

Josh needs to, to quote a text from kerri

get over me, and move on!

with all that said, I await your comments.

I’ll post another time.

random thoughts and feelings

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This entry isn’t a normal happy entry. it’s mostly gonna be rambling and has no order to it what so ever. Some parts may not even make sense but I just needed to write my feelings.
If you don’t like, stop reading, right the fuck now.
So I went downtown today to do monthly banking, bills, the usual shit, and thought, fine, I’ll see if I could track down kerri, and she could make this go a hell of a lot faster. Oh, I found kerri, all right, but who was she with? Fuckin’ josh! She ended up guiding me to the nearist TD, with josh and his snide comments all the way… things like, don’t touch my kid, keep your hands off, shit like that. It took everything I had not to turn around and belt him upside his fucking head with my cane. I’ve been more of a daddy to that child than he’ll ever be, I’ve made kerri happier for it, but josh doesn’t seem to fucking give up. Anyhow, I asked kerri if she was going to meet me back at TD so I could spend time with her and *my* child, but when I came out, she wasn’t their, come to find out josh had hauled her off to who knows where. Ended up catching up with her at jackson for a breef 30 seconds, because josh, probably thinking I was incompitent wants to feed her. Even though I’d said to her I’d take her to get something to eat. Needless to say after I grabbed something to eat I had to get assistance home, because my focus went to hell, I couldn’t concintrate to save myself. A nice gentlemen ended up giving me a ride because I think he saw my distress and inability to focus. I am now home, but I sit here asking myself, Am I wrong to feel left out? Am I wrong to feel like today was a waste of time? Am I a moron to think I’m doing the right thing? Why everytime I see kerri with josh do I have this inexplicable urge to strangle the fuck out of josh consiquences be damned? I understand josh is the baby daddy, but frankly, if he died I’d probably be happy for it as I know what he put kerri through and he deserves to be dead. I just don’t know, I know where her loyalties, kerri’s loyalties lie, but their’s still a part of me going, shane? You’ve been screwed before. This only happens when I know she’s with josh or I see josh with her downtown. I’m so afraid, so insecure right now it’s scary. I feel like I’m falling again, and nobody can catch me. I know who I love, but everytime I see sperm donnor I wonder, is he going to attempt to fill her brain with shit, and cause her to leave? I know this isn’t true, but my brain still thinks it.
ok, I’m done for now.
Sorry about the unorderlyness of this entry.
Before I go, everyone who knows me knows who I love, and who I want to marry, who’s child I call my own, and who I’ll give my life for if it means her and that child survive. That child may not be my own biologically but blood aside, he’s my child, and nobody will change that.
I will try and come up with something with more substance in it at another time.