This entry isn’t a normal happy entry. it’s mostly gonna be rambling and has no order to it what so ever. Some parts may not even make sense but I just needed to write my feelings.
If you don’t like, stop reading, right the fuck now.
So I went downtown today to do monthly banking, bills, the usual shit, and thought, fine, I’ll see if I could track down kerri, and she could make this go a hell of a lot faster. Oh, I found kerri, all right, but who was she with? Fuckin’ josh! She ended up guiding me to the nearist TD, with josh and his snide comments all the way… things like, don’t touch my kid, keep your hands off, shit like that. It took everything I had not to turn around and belt him upside his fucking head with my cane. I’ve been more of a daddy to that child than he’ll ever be, I’ve made kerri happier for it, but josh doesn’t seem to fucking give up. Anyhow, I asked kerri if she was going to meet me back at TD so I could spend time with her and *my* child, but when I came out, she wasn’t their, come to find out josh had hauled her off to who knows where. Ended up catching up with her at jackson for a breef 30 seconds, because josh, probably thinking I was incompitent wants to feed her. Even though I’d said to her I’d take her to get something to eat. Needless to say after I grabbed something to eat I had to get assistance home, because my focus went to hell, I couldn’t concintrate to save myself. A nice gentlemen ended up giving me a ride because I think he saw my distress and inability to focus. I am now home, but I sit here asking myself, Am I wrong to feel left out? Am I wrong to feel like today was a waste of time? Am I a moron to think I’m doing the right thing? Why everytime I see kerri with josh do I have this inexplicable urge to strangle the fuck out of josh consiquences be damned? I understand josh is the baby daddy, but frankly, if he died I’d probably be happy for it as I know what he put kerri through and he deserves to be dead. I just don’t know, I know where her loyalties, kerri’s loyalties lie, but their’s still a part of me going, shane? You’ve been screwed before. This only happens when I know she’s with josh or I see josh with her downtown. I’m so afraid, so insecure right now it’s scary. I feel like I’m falling again, and nobody can catch me. I know who I love, but everytime I see sperm donnor I wonder, is he going to attempt to fill her brain with shit, and cause her to leave? I know this isn’t true, but my brain still thinks it.
ok, I’m done for now.
Sorry about the unorderlyness of this entry.
Before I go, everyone who knows me knows who I love, and who I want to marry, who’s child I call my own, and who I’ll give my life for if it means her and that child survive. That child may not be my own biologically but blood aside, he’s my child, and nobody will change that.
I will try and come up with something with more substance in it at another time.
josh
the aftermath of toronto, more hamilton drama, a knew book, and more!
good morning fellow blog readers.
we’ve got lots to cover. so let’s roll!
Let’s start with toronto.
Things went OK, kerri and I picked up the paperwork that we needed to pick up and spent the rest of the day bumming around with emily.
We ended up meeting up with earle and rose, and met their child, Genevra, in the process.
So that’s toronto, the long and short.
hamilton Drama… let’s see. The thing of note this time around is one josh remellzwaal (remmalzwall for jaws, for the sake of this entry we’ll call him ding bat.) anyhow, he starts running his mouth, oh CAS has a problem with me, I’ll be going down, how they looked up my previous information from brantford, oh god it goes on.
Anyhow, We end up reaching the worker he mentions, and sadly, oh my god, CAS has nothing against me, she *has* never spoken with josh, never will speak with josh, and their was never a conference. yada yada fucking yada. The short, josh, lying, again! Am I surprised? not really, it’s something I’ve come to expect from the little crippled mentally in need of a psychic evaluation specimen of a human. He’ll lie to get his own way, but what this little dimwitted moron fails to realize is that, this crap will come back to bite him in the ass, and then he’ll continue to lose, until someone finally knocks his lights out, or runs him over, whatever happens first. Either or, I don’t care which, as long as he’s taken out of this world.
Ok, finally, oh yes, this is good!
Kerri was served papers today, I won’t go into details, because it aint my story to tell, but needless to say, their are a few things I’d like to say, and please, feel free to comment.
In these papers, Mrs. Barb jenkins, (hereafter refered to as idiot for my own retribution), states to the effect of, Kerri’s current boyfriend is blind, meaning he cannot look after arik, and arik is at risk being around him. She says something similar about Kerri’s father in the same set of documentation.
She also says in that documentation that she’s not discriminating?
Excuse me you stupid idiot, but you are, so get ready to die. Oh idiot who thinks she knows all, what facts do you have that state that, I, (or any other blind/visually impaired individual) cannot look after a child, or that blind persons around children are putting the child(s) in danger?
She also mentions that kerri’s father being visually impaired requires special assistants so makes it impossible for him to participate effectively in the raising/care of arik?
Yet again, I raise the question, on what fact do you base your accusations ms. I have all these high priced lawyers?
Please, if I’m missing something here, highly unlikely, someone, correct me!
Their’s a lot more that I’m not at liberty to disclose right now, but if I do get permission, you can bet I’ll be back with more of this interesting paperwork.
Oh wait, their r a few more things, how the hell, if the child was born on november 3, 2007, could he have been placed in kinship care on September 15, 2007?
Time travel anyone?
yeah, according to the *hand written* letter attached to the papers, that was the date listed for kinship care.
Oh, wait, and the child was born on november 11, 2007? no, birth cirtificate states the 3rd of november, not the 11th.
Does anyone see the buildup of mistakes in this set of paperwork?
Let’s see, what else is wrong with this set of documentation.
Oh yes, supposedly Josh signed his rights over to his mother? Um, no, wrong!
firstly, the letter you enclosed with said papers was never signed by a court judge/justice of the piece, so it’s invalid on that part, and second, you don’t sign your parental rights over to anyone you just sign them away, so again, you lose!
and their’s also something in their, about asking the court for an order to trap kerri here in hamilton?
I’m sorry, but legally, you *cannot* do that. you can prevent her from leaving the country, but if she chooses to leave hamilton, that’s her right as a citizen, and that, again, is a violation of her rights.
Am I the only one seing the buildup for a case dismissal here?
With that out of the way, let’s talk about this knew book.
While in toronto a book title, wake, was mentioned.
I liked what I was hering about it, so I went after the book.
I now have the book, and once I’ve read it, I’ll be sure to post my thoughts.
Ok, that’s it for now.
the comment boards await you!
piece ya’ll.
another entry and no it aint a rant this time.
good morning fellow blog readers,
I’m posting this, why? because I can.
not a lot to get to this entry, so let’s get to it.
First things first.
myself and kerri are going to toronto today to put ourselves on the housing list their, why? because we’re both sick and tired of the hamilton drama, the problems it’s causing us, etc. etc.
Emily did warn me when I moved here, but me, as usual, didn’t listen to advice.
The other thing is josh, (the baby daddy to kerri’s child), fucking called here and because I answered the phone, shits supposedly going to go down.
He told kerri this, that next time I answered the phone, shit was giong to go down?
*laughs insanely*!
Hey you wheelchair bound think with your dick moron, at 1AM in the morning, I will not wake kerri for you or anyone else, except her immediate family, and only then, if it’s an emergency.
You talk shit, but you don’t realize that your just a puny disabled moron that wants a piece of ass and doesn’t use the head attached to your shoulders.
The head he thinkswith is between his legs. and from what kerri’s told me, that head’s nothing to write home about either.
ok, that’s it for now.
I’ll write more when I get back from toronto.