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life

do you have a friend or loved one that suffers from depression?

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It’s a boring Tuesday, and I’m still undecided weather I’m doing $5 movies, I said I’m not going,then I’m like why should I stay in doors? but anyhow, that’s not why I’m writing.
While googling earlier, I came across
this resource
and am publishing it here because I honestly hope it’s of use to one of you.
Weather it’s a friend or loved one, no matter what the situation you are in, and you know or think they have depression, I hope this article helps you, in some small way.
If all you do is pass it along, you’ve done some good today.
Let’s get on with it.

If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment.
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing her to go deeper into her depression. Help your loved one keep her body healthy, and her mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression.
3.Get them outside.
The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here. For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of herself. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together.

Thank you for reading and have a fantastic day.

cleveland, now a retired guide, May 19, 2012 to March 15, 2013.

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Hello all my readers;
Those of you that follow my
facebook
twitter
and
audioboo
will know that there were problems cropping up with my beloved guidedog cleveland, and it wasn’t getting better.
I tried everything short of screaming, gentle leader, strictly back to basics, etc.
His focus wasn’t there, and it got to a point where he started pulling really hard in harness to greet people, and I couldn’t keep his focus from outing to outing.
I called guidedogs for the blind February 19, 2013 and basically said I need help, I don’t know what to do, I’m absolutely stuck.
I tried reaching someone the day prior, but do to some holiday or another the office was closed.
I reached my FSR and we talked, including my mentioning maybe a possible reevaluation, and he said, OK, I can be up March 11, 2013 and we’ll see what we can do. Ok, *breathe* no need to panic, you can keep things rolling until someone can come up and see you. Later that day I received a second call from graduate services, and we talked more, and they indicate we can’t wait, we need to get cleveland back for reevaluation. So we put things in motion, and fast forward about a week.
Cleveland is picked up by a field manager from origon, and returns to campus.
I return to using a cane, *gasp* wait, can I still use the cane? Actually, I can!
I’m told I’ll get weekly updates, etc. At this point, it hits me like bricks, I lose it, what could I have done, and one of the guidedog lists I’m on bares the brunt of my ramblings, could I have done more, was I too hasty in returning him. The support from that point onward was absolutely amazing, the calls, the e-mails, just everything, all you on that list, you know who you are, you absolutely rock, thank you so very much.
Fast forward.
We get to the first weekly update. It’s not good, and the person passing along the update knows this. Everything I’ve reported, there seing it, including some things I missed or that didn’t start until his return. They have had no lluck fixing it. Nobody’s giving up yet, though, let’s give it another week, I’ll call you next week.
I hope, prey, and continue hoping, but in the back of my mind I have to prepare myself for that call that says he can’t continue working.
Fast forward to March 15, 2013.
The phone rings, I grab it.
It’s the person delivering reports on cleveland.
It’s been determined that Cleveland cannot continue working as my guide, they can’t refocus him, they need to retire him from active guide work.
I’m told the next steps, what happens now, and the call is ended.
From that point onward it’s been an immotional time for me, why did I even bother, I should have just bared the brunt of it, keeping cleveland working, etc. A couple of people who immediately stepped up after his retirement was announced, I’d like to give special thanks to, you know who you are, because of your experience with dogs, and immediately not asking any questions, called me or in person kept me going, I thank you so very much. Everyone here in Toronto, back in Ottawa, the guidedogs counselling department, other graduates, all of you have continued to support me and I do sincerely thank you.
There has been the question of will I return to GDB, or will I recommend them in the future?
If you’d asked me that last week, my answer would absolutely not be fit for this blog, I blamed them, I blamed me, I blamed cleveland’s raisers, I was hardist on myself for giving up on him.
But now? Me personally? I honestly think as a new handler, and this is just my personal opinion, so please remember this. I think the two weeks is a good idea, in theory, and maybe if I’d done more research, I could have known the questions to ask, but the two weeks as a new firsttime never seen walked with a guidedog in my life, handler? sort of two much. Would I do it again? If I got a call right now from them saying we have a dog for you, I’d seriously have to ask myself if I could do two weeks. With what I know now? I probably would. I’d know the questions to ask, what to look for, who’s ear to ramble off.
Recommend it to others? It all depended on your individual situation. Blankitly, I would, but as an alumni member of GDB, I’d have to ask you individually questions and give you a recommendation at that point.
Will I get another dog? It’s in my future deffinitly, but where I might aquire the dog from will take a lot of consideration, thought, and talking to a lot of people, and making my choice from there.
If you’ve read this far, thank you.
In closing, thank you to guidedogs for still supporting me and taking my questions, my concerns, and thank you to those that took the brunt of my argumentative behavior when I wanted to scream at the injustice of it all. Thank you to both of Cleveland’s puppy raisers, names omitted unless they comment here on this post, for raising such an amazing dog, even if he had to retire early. Your dedication to him is boundless, and I thank you from both of us. To the person that has taken him in in his retirement, thank you for loving cleveland like I loved him in his working life. Once again, thank you, each and everyone of you reading this weather it’s by e-mail, rss, facebook, on twitter, etc. Thank you all for your support.
Talk to you all next time.

in response to an article I read, and a reminder to the TTC.

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I was scrolling twitter, and ran across
Blog shames TTC riders who take up extra seats
so I scrolled on over to this blog and while I agree with the centament, and the frustration, I don’t agree with some of the language being utalized. But since I can’t figure out the submission form, I’m just gonna post my thoughts here. Your comments in the comments section would rock. I’m blockquoting it because it was originally for that blog, but I couldn’t figure it out.

To those that crowd the front of the bus/streetcar when there’s clearly an entire back of said vehicle available. Kindly do us all a solid and move back and park your rear in an available seat, or hey you can even stand back their to! miracles! Oh, I’m sorry, that would be common curtisy. and some ttc riders are so all and mighty they’d rather not actually be curtius. DO not get me started on huge strolers, treatment of bus/streetcar drivers, etc. because I’d be here all day. Related: To you that think that not giving up a seat to a disabled rider is a good idea. how about you lose the use of your legs for a day and ride the TTC, then we’ll talk, k? thought so. In closing, learn you some common curtisy, you require one seat, put bag in your lap, or *gasp* under the seat, wear your children,leave the huge strollers at home, and use a smaller one. like duh, move to the back of the bus if it’s not crowded, or to prevent overcrowding, and if a disabled rider gets on, for the love of all that’s squeaky get your sighted non disabled bum out of the seat.

That’s all I have to say.
Comment away!

a reminder to the TTC fair collectors.

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As a recent resident to Toronto, I’m heavily reliant on the toronto transit commission to get from point A to point B on a daily bases.
Hey, so does, this recent blogger convert to wordpress one over here but that’s just par for the course around here.
Anyhow, I’ve been around the block a time or two with these guys, sometimes my own stupidity, sometimes, they left there brains at track level, hey, sometimes, I don’t start it, but anyhow.
A little background.
previous policy stated that children 5 years of age or younger while being carried on the mother, or father’s, back did not get charged, because hey’, it’s one person, one turn of the turnstyle, takes up one seat, so get outta our faces.
About 3 weeks ago, this policy changed.
No matter what, carried or not, children above 3y/o of age pay $0.75. OK, fine and dandy, right?
yep, Totally fine, until you are a royal rude idiot about it and decide to think your all up and mighty about it and your crap don’t stink.
I decide, because I have a *working* magnetic strip on my TTC pass, to avoid the line, swipe and go through the middle turnstyle, please note I still haven’t mastered that art, but I’ll get there.
Anyhow, as I’m ffighting with my pass, Thanks random TTC worker for showing the clueless person that is me how to use it, I here the other person I’m with, that is carrying the child get stopped by the TTC collector and a… we’ll call it an argument insues, because he tells her she has to pay the fair, and accuses her of ripping off the TTC for seven month’s because he’s watched her, and believe me the tone of his voice, dude, if I hadn’t been clear of the turnstyle, I’d have given him what for. I didn’t have to because the person carrying the child held her own, so we’ll just leave it at that.
I won’t go into detail about the argument that ensued, because I don’t remember exactly how it went, but in summary, here’s what I’ll give you.
You, as a TTC worker have a responsibility to be curtius, but informative to your customers.
This means, after asking how old the child being carried is, if the policy has changed, nicely inform the person carrying said child that the policy has changed and they need to pay the child fair. This does not mean you degrade, or otherwise shame the individual in question.
You are responsible for your actions, and Mr. TTC worker, you are a shame to the organization, and a disgrace to this transit provider’s good name and I hope that you are sent back for retraining, because your actions tonight were deplorable.
A complaint has been filed with the commission about this individuals action with a request for follow up as to the resolution of the matter.
Have a great night all.

everything explodes, and doesn't take customers with it. and other unrelated things.

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I no how to blog? apparently, I do.
If your smart, you’ll have noticed that thing that your reading and some of it’s associated services, hey
zoe?
you actually no how to update? miracles! Wait, I can’t actually talk because I’ve been lazy about updating this thing, more on the how and why in list form later in this entry.
As you might have read
over here
that over there in that corner of the server moved, to.
our domains are still barried on the same server, just not on the
same servers that our paying people hang out on
and it saves $$$ in the long run, and allows for a little more *smash* to happen without taking the customer base with it.
This also means if the customer server goes *smash* the customers can still yell at us and tell us it’s broken. Hey, ladies and gents, we already knew, we knew long before you, now shut up so we can fix it, k? lol.
A couple of services like
this one
shit the bed nicely during an unrelated change, more on that later, and I kinda didn’t find it until this morning. Yeah, shut up, I know I’m on a roll.
Let’s see, what else.

  • move into temporary residence is complete, and I finally got around to running the keys back to the old rental office, damn you life, stop fucking me up.
  • apparently my computer dealer is a moron and doesn’t believe I know what I’m talking about when I know the damn system board’s on it’s way out. any of my female readers wanna use a pair of high heals and step on his nuts, please?
  • we welcome
    May
    to her own little corner of the web and to
    wordpress
    thank you for not using
    blogger
    our sanity thanks you
  • my next convert
    does live on blogger
    but I’m working to fix that, but need to wait until she’s back from
    the san rafael campus of guidedogs for the blind
    to complete that transition.
  • it’s nifty to see 8MS pingtimes to the iweb box, and a solid 15 to the server where this blog lives. go bell fibe, go!
  • school starts soon, so that just might break my blogging sprea. oops.
  • I’m playing games like
    imperium novanow
  • certain people need to understand a specific 4 letter word has more meaning than you think and to stop acting like a whore, no I’m not providing context, to bad.
  • an unlocked iphone is in my future.

I think that covers the high points and random spueage of my brain.
Talk soon.

putting an issue to rest.

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since apparently my facebook and twitter’s been full of it lately have the following information in list form. and this is my final word on this topic, so read, absorb, and then shut your faces.

  • yes: I am moving in with
    May
  • no, I am not dating her.
  • no, I am in fact not trying to get between her and
    James even if I am living with her.
  • your continued badgering all involved on this topic may end up having you tossed on your behind, perminantly.

no further discussion will be entertained on this topic.
Thank you.

Suck it and suck it hard, FSU!

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Ok, so maybe that title got yanked straight out of an IM window, but that’s alright. When emails like the following drop into your inbox and then get forwarded, that’s what kind of response you get via IM.
From: “Morin, T”
Date: Mon, 25 Jun 2012 18:16:04 +0000
Subject: Congratulations! You have made the Dean’s List.
To:
My school email
DIVISION OF ACADEMIC AFFAIRS
June 25, 2012
President Daniel M. Asquino, your professors, staff, and I want to
congratulate you on your outstanding academic achievement. You have
made the Dean’s List for the spring 2012 semester.
This is quite an achievement, and it required a great deal of
dedication and hard work on your part. You should be very proud of
yourself.
If you wish to receive an official letter, please contact
Academic Affairs Administrative Assistant, at or call phone number withheld.
Best wishes for your continued success. If you have the time, please
drop by my office so that I can congratulate you personally.
Sincerely,
Melissa A. Fama Ph.D.
Vice President of Academic Affairs
Mount Wachusett Community College
………………………………………………………………………………………
Sent on behalf of Melissa Fama

New college? Yes. New brain? No.

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The following is what happens when you are not doing which one of these?
A. Living in mold with traces of breatheable oxygen,
B. Trying to scan your own materials and keep up with actual assignments,
C. Using incorrectly Brailled documents,
D. All of the above.
If you chose D, go grab yourself a caffeinated beverage. Then, after you do that, I recommend that you be sitting down.
Grades this semester look something like…
Human Biology: B
First Year Seminar: B
History of Contemporary Issues: B
Beginning Spanish I: A-
My GPA is sitting at a damn skippy 3.23. Ya know what? After three and a half years of spinning my wheels and getting absolutely nowhere, I’ll take it.

congratulations, krista.

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admin note
I’d like to on behalf of the entire administration team congratulate this author on a well written paper, the 91% was well earned. keep up the great work. It’s nice to see you succeeding in school. your positive attitude towards school ever since leaving fitchburg state university is a large turn around from where you were just over 4 month’s ago. Again, congratulations.
Here’s the paper that earned that 91%.
Again, Congratulations.

Krista Pennell
Learner Autobiography
I feel like I’ve been in school forever. I started with early intervention when I was a toddler because as a child with a disability, I was missing out on a lot of opportunities to acquire new skills and experience new things. Even on the days I wasn’t in school, I was being educated.
I had a babysitter who used to set me up for causing particularly typical toddler messes. Once, I remember a day where she protected my clothes with a garbage bag, sat me on her kitchen sink, and filled the sink with water and watch me go nuts. I distinctly remember my grandmother having a fit! The babysitter, a family friend, responded with, “Carol, she’s gotta be able to play and make a mess sometime. Might as well let her do it with supervision.”
I was placed in preschool at the McKay Campus School in Fitchburg. There, I was taught Braille at the age of 3. My local school district had no idea what to do with a blind child, but they thought they could accept me once I entered kindergarten, and they did. Everything went well there until I entered middle school. That’s when a slow decline began, because my blindness related skills were so poor that my academics suffered. I didn’t know the entire Nemeth Braille code for mathematics, so I was failing math and science. Teachers were giving me A’s because they felt bad for me. I became depressed because I felt school was hopeless and I was going to graduate without actually having earned a diploma.
My mother had always been opposed to sending me to a school for the blind, but finally when I was 16, I managed to convince the rest of my family, who helped me to convince her, that it would be the best thing for me, and it was. I got to do sports, have a social life, have friends, and a life outside of school, and my first quarter there, they sent my report card home in the mail and I earned all A’s. My mother actually cried. I spent three and a half years there, during which time I began to think of college as a real possibility. Before, it had seemed so far off, and I thought, “How can I handle college if I can’t even handle high school?” the day I received my acceptance letter to Fitchburg State university was life-changing. I was really going. I had made the choice, I was going, I was going to live in a dorm, basically on my own, and go to school, and I was going to be independent. Perkins had taught me everything I needed to know about dealing with college and disability services, right?
No, they didn’t. They taught me how to deal with a disability services office that was willing to work with their students. When I got to Fitchburg State, I realized that new staff had taken over, and it seemed like noone had a clue what they were doing. My books were either in horrible quality audio, or inaccessible pdf format, I was stuck in a class that required you to be able to identify pieces of art, and during my 3 year time there, things only got worse.
I hit rock bottom and stopped caring during the beginning of my last semester. I felt like I was wasting my time there and even attempting to be educated by that institution was hopeless. I knew I had to make a change or go insane, so I applied to MWCC. I had heard disability services were phenomenal, and when I’d only heard good things from a friend of mine, I filled out the online application and I waited. To my surprise, given my university issues, I was accepted. I was thrilled. I had a chance to succeed, and prove that I could survive in a college environment. I was able to take a lab science, something I was told repeatedly over the last 3 years that I couldn’t do. All my materials are provided to me in an accessible format, and I don’t have to fight for them. I don’t have to wonder if I’m going to get an assignment done on time because I don’t have the materials 3 days before it’s due.
I never saw myself as a college student, truly, until I came here. I was always fighting to catch up with the other students, and here, I don’t have to do that. My family have reacted positively to my change in attitude about school, and my grades so far have proven to me that I can be a good student. I never thought I could before. Most of my college career was spent fighting for access. That’s no longer an obstacle.
Graduation day is something I haven’t yet thought of. I know when I get there I’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief, but also nervousness. I know my immediate family will be there. I’m not sure what I’m going to major in yet, but a degree will allow me to obtain a job, and hopefully I’ll gain skills along the way that assist me in whatever I choose to do. Frankly, I’m not sure what dreams it will allow me to achieve, but I want a job, I want to live on my own, and to function independently.

If I had a dick, and today were a person, I'd force said person to suck it.

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1. Shane’s on a bus heading back to Ottawa.
2. I’m emotionally fucking wiped right out.
3. As a result of the above, I’m ready to stuff my foot up the ass of the next person who anoys me.
4. For the love of whatever may or may not be holy, please don’t let it be one of you.
5. Packing in a holy fuck hurry results in you not nowing where in the hell half your shit is. don’t try it at… well…no, you won’t try it at home.
6. If something doesn’t go right soon, I’m gonna snap and probably end up in the hospital getting downers by IV until they can find something they don’t have to shoot me up with that won’t make me a spaceshot.
7. Related: Murphy, back the fuck off or I’m gonna die and go wherever you are just for the sole purpose of kickin’ your ass, then I’ll reincarnate as a cat. (Preferably a spoiled and well-love one like mine.)
8. The visuals I could provide you with if Shane doesn’t get a work visa for the states could curl your toes, make your eyes water and essentially make you cry like a little girl and run away.
9. Also, a note to whatever cabbie drove me to a friend’s place for the night, I can shut the door myself thank you, there’s really no need to shut it on me, no, really, I promise. You’re quite lucky you missed and didn’t nail me in the rib cage because I would’ve called your manager and he and I would’ve had a conversation.
In summary, now that I’ve been sitting here spewing brain vomit all over the place, I feel somewhat kinda sorta more human. Now, let’s not have anything else turn into a royal fucking clusterfuck please and thank you? Good thing flip-a-shit-ometers are not actually physical devices, I’d’ve had to replace about 10 over the last week.