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do you have a friend or loved one that suffers from depression?

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It’s a boring Tuesday, and I’m still undecided weather I’m doing $5 movies, I said I’m not going,then I’m like why should I stay in doors? but anyhow, that’s not why I’m writing.
While googling earlier, I came across
this resource
and am publishing it here because I honestly hope it’s of use to one of you.
Weather it’s a friend or loved one, no matter what the situation you are in, and you know or think they have depression, I hope this article helps you, in some small way.
If all you do is pass it along, you’ve done some good today.
Let’s get on with it.

If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment.
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing her to go deeper into her depression. Help your loved one keep her body healthy, and her mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression.
3.Get them outside.
The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here. For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of herself. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together.

Thank you for reading and have a fantastic day.

in response to an article I read, and a reminder to the TTC.

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I was scrolling twitter, and ran across
Blog shames TTC riders who take up extra seats
so I scrolled on over to this blog and while I agree with the centament, and the frustration, I don’t agree with some of the language being utalized. But since I can’t figure out the submission form, I’m just gonna post my thoughts here. Your comments in the comments section would rock. I’m blockquoting it because it was originally for that blog, but I couldn’t figure it out.

To those that crowd the front of the bus/streetcar when there’s clearly an entire back of said vehicle available. Kindly do us all a solid and move back and park your rear in an available seat, or hey you can even stand back their to! miracles! Oh, I’m sorry, that would be common curtisy. and some ttc riders are so all and mighty they’d rather not actually be curtius. DO not get me started on huge strolers, treatment of bus/streetcar drivers, etc. because I’d be here all day. Related: To you that think that not giving up a seat to a disabled rider is a good idea. how about you lose the use of your legs for a day and ride the TTC, then we’ll talk, k? thought so. In closing, learn you some common curtisy, you require one seat, put bag in your lap, or *gasp* under the seat, wear your children,leave the huge strollers at home, and use a smaller one. like duh, move to the back of the bus if it’s not crowded, or to prevent overcrowding, and if a disabled rider gets on, for the love of all that’s squeaky get your sighted non disabled bum out of the seat.

That’s all I have to say.
Comment away!

their's something to be gleaned from this post.

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You learn interesting things from blogs. wesput an entry out on histwitterthat pointed tothis entry about anal sexand being a curious individual, I headed back to the blog’shome pageand was scrolling through entries, and ran acrossthis entry about infidelityand was impressed about what I read. I’m going to quote the entry in it’s entirety because I feel a few x gf’s of mine that read this blog can bennifit from this entries wisdom and it might help them in the future.

Can you overcome infidelity?
I had a question about this from a reader today and I have to say that I’m not a therapist or a marriage counselor..they would still be your first resource. However, I will give you my thoughts about this.
I think the the old adage of “once a cheater, always a cheater” isn’t true. I do believe that we are capable of monogamy. I also believe that women and men cheat about the same, although the stereotype is that men are always the ones committing the infidelities. I think that women cheating is on the rise, because women are out in the job market more than they have ever been. They are now encountering more men and interacting with other males in higher numbers…this has lead to an increase in women cheating. So, no longer can we point the finger at the men only!
I believe that almost every long term relationship will encounter infidelity at some point. The degree of infidelity may vary…maybe its a blow job…or a kiss..or sexting or full on sex. Maybe its emotional infidelity. We have reached a technological age that our grandparents didn’t have available, so the thought of a modern day marriage lasting 50 years without either partner cheating in some way seems almost inconceivable. However, do I think it has to be the kiss of death to the marriage? NO…
I think if your partner has cheated, be it the man or woman, the first thing to do is look at how you found out. Did they confess it to you, out of remorse and guilt? Did you catch them fucking in your bed? Was it a drunken night out that got out of hand, or was it serial infidelity that has been going on long term and repeatedly? The answer to those questions will clue you in on if your relationship can survive the infidelity or not. If your partner confesses to you, then I’d say there is hope for your relationship. If you catch them fucking in your bed, probably not. If its a one time incident where things got out of hand and alcohol was involved, again there may be hope. If they are a serial cheater and you’ve caught them numerous times..then its probably time to cut your losses.
I’m going to use the man as the cheater in my post, because the reader today was asking me about her husband..however, the advice applies to both sexes and I don’t want to imply that this article is to bash men.
So, lets look at the scenario where I think your marriage could survive and maybe even come out stronger in the long run. Say your partner has cheated…they confess the infidelity to you and tell you what happened. Okay, that is good that they are remorseful, it shows that they are aware their actions have dire consequences. The fact that they are willing to discuss with you how it happened, again shows that they are seeking your forgiveness. I think these all show that your partner made a huge mistake and is truly sorry for it. The one thing you need to do is get to the bottom of why it happened. This may mean you will hear things that you don’t want to hear…because cheating is almost never just about sex. Its about a lack of connection, communication, love, or affection…its about not feeling heard or appreciated…usually the last thing its about is gettin’ some strange cock or pussy.
Once you find out what the root of the problem is, then you can address how to fix that…in addition to the broken trust. Trust is such a hard thing to get back once its broken. Don’t expect to confess to your partner and then get pissed the next week when she grills you about where you’re going and when you’ll be back…trust has to be earned back once its broken and you have to realize that it will take time. That being said you also have to look into yourself and see if you can truly forgive. By forgiving, I mean letting go of the image of your partner with another person…letting go of your anger and resentment…of not throwing it up in their face at every fight. Forgiveness is truly more important for YOU than your partner, because holding onto those feelings will only bring stress and negativity into YOUR life. If you think you can reach that point where you have forgiven your partner then of course, move in the direction of healing your relationship. However, if you don’t think you can ever forgive them or see them the same way…then it may be time to realize that you can’t stay in an unhealthy relationship, and if your relationship continues under those conditions it WILL be unhealthy for both of you.
I think that there is a place for marriage counselors and therapists and if you want to truly mend your relationship then look into seeing someone that can be a neutral 3rd party to help you work out why it happened and help you release your feelings of anger and hurt in a productive way. I know that we all have a knee jerk reaction to someone cheating on us…its anger, hurt, jealousy and fear. You fear that you are going to lose your partner, that life will change forever…that is a big fear. It may or may not come true, but you can’t live your life based on fear. Fear freezes you in place…and if you are going to move beyond an infidelity and become a better couple then you have to take steps away from fear and towards healing.
One of the hardest things to overcome in a relationship…in my opinion…is a lack of respect. If your partner has no respect for you then they won’t care about hurting your feelings. They won’t care about your embarrassment or anger. They will feel that they can do as they wish and you’ll do nothing about it because they have the “upper hand” in the relationship. A lack of respect is worse than a lack of trust in my eyes. Trust can be rebuilt over time, someone that doesn’t respect you will probably never respect you. So, look at a partner that has cheated multiple times…why don’t they just leave you? If they want to behave like they are single then what is keeping them from being single? If you look at that you may see that you are being USED. You are being used to watch the children, or bring home a paycheck. You are being used and they could care less about anything but you serving their purpose.
This is a relationship that you should really consider if you wouldn’t be better off on your own than in a toxic and hurtful relationship. Again, don’t let fear freeze you in place…move forward toward what you deserve, a loving and committed relationship, but first you need to let go of the one holding you back. So, although it doesn’t seem like it…sometimes infidelity is a good thing, because it opens our eyes to what we try to not see. It is a catalyst that causes us to act when nothing else would.
I think that affairs/infidelity/cheating hurts. It hurts your true partner, it hurts the person you’re cheating with, it hurts your integrity and values. I think there is no good that comes from cheating and if you are ever on that edge, instead of stepping off, turn around and go back. Go to your partner and talk to them truthfully about what you need and what. Talk to them about what you’re missing in your relationship. Try to make the relationship you are in the one you want. Its easier to fix it now than it is after you’ve cheated. So, take a deep breath and realize temptation is all around us, but we don’t have to give in to it. We can rise above..we can stand our ground and realize that you can choose to make a good decision or a bad one. The consequences of that decision will reverberate through your life…so stop…STOP and really think if its worth it.
I want nothing more for any of my readers than to have wonderful, loving and happy relationships. I want you to get what you need, want and deserve from your partner. But, I know that life is rarely perfect and the road is never smooth that we travel. However, you can look within and see the person you want to be, and the relationship you want to have and strive towards it. It is within your reach, you just have to be willing to put in the work, the time, the communication and commitment to make it all you deserve.

That’s my wisdom for the night. later, all.

and google has it's uses. welcome a knew reader to the blog.

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so in the insanity that has been people beatin’ the fmeep out of the blog of late, Krista’s mother was googlin’ away and landed over here.
Welcome to the blog, and thanks for actually helping krista get help where the rest of us couldn’t.
We don’t just spue brain vomit, if you browse around, you’ll find reviews, opinions on news stories, and more.
Enjoy the blog, Vanessa.

And people wonder why I don't fly?

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and here, we go again.
TSA, seriously
agaain

The 50-year-old pilot, who lives outside Sacramento, asked that neither he nor his airline be identified. He has worked for the airline for more than a decade and was deputized by the TSA to carry a gun in the cockpit.
He is also a helicopter test pilot in the Army Reserve and flew missions for the United Nations in Macedonia.
Three days after he posted a series of six video clips recorded with a cell phone camera at San Francisco International Airport, four federal air marshals and two sheriff’s deputies arrived at his house to confiscate his federally-issued firearm. The pilot recorded that event as well and provided all the video to News10.
At the same time as the federal marshals took the pilot’s gun, a deputy sheriff asked him to surrender his state-issued permit to carry a concealed weapon.
A follow-up letter from the sheriff’s department said the CCW permit would be reevaluated following the outcome of the federal investigation.
The YouTube videos, posted Nov. 28, show what the pilot calls the irony of flight crews being forced to go through TSA screening while ground crew who service the aircraft are able to access secure areas simply by swiping a card.
“As you can see, airport security is kind of a farce. It’s only smoke and mirrors so you people believe there is actually something going on here,” the pilot narrates.
Video shot in the cockpit shows a medieval-looking rescue ax available on the flight deck after the pilots have gone through the metal detectors. “I would say a two-foot crash ax looks a lot more formidable than a box cutter,” the pilot remarked.
A letter from the TSA dated Dec. 6 informed the pilot that “an administrative review into your deputation status as a Federal Flight Deck Officer has been initiated.”
According to the letter, the review was directly related to the discovery by TSA staff of the YouTube videos. “The content and subject of these videos may have violated regulations concerning disclosure of sensitive security information,” the letter said.
The pilot’s attorney, Don Werno of Santa Ana, said he believed the federal government sent six people to the house to send a message.
“And the message was you’ve angered us by telling the truth and by showing America that there are major security problems despite the fact that we’ve spent billions of dollars allegedly to improve airline safety,” Werno said.
The pilot said he is not in trouble with his airline, but a supervisor asked him to remove public access to the YouTube videos.
He does, however, face potential civil penalties from the TSA. He said he would likely go public when it becomes clear what the government plans to do with him.

The pilot said he had resigned his position as an FFDO and was told by a TSA representative the resignation would result in the case being closed. The pilot’s attorney, Don Werno, said he was waiting for formal written confirmation.

In my opinion, why should he have to resign his job, because he showed flaws in a security system? it doesn’t make sense.
from the same article we have this

Current regulations require flight crews to pass through a TSA checkpoint, while ground crews can gain access to the same aircraft simply by swiping a card at an unmanned door.
“How effective is security when everybody on board is screened and everybody on the ground isn’t?” the pilot asked.

How safe do I feel now knowing that?
Should the ground crew not go through *the exact* same screening everyone else does?
I stand behind my previous claims, I’ll stay with greyhound, at least, until such time, as stuff like this is put in place for ground transportation.
Then I may just stop traveling crossboarder all together.
TSA, kindly, die.

a small note to a list moderator.

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a note to a list moderator;
Please kindly stop acting like a fucking prick to me.
your not god, and never will be.
Teling me repeatedly that a topics off topic on a *tech* list when it’s not then banning me after the list owner specifically told you not to, is a violation of your moderator privilidges.
I hope you never become a moderator again.
I’m glad you got your ass fired.
with no love,
me.

so… I'm not the only one that had crappy ccustomer service when trying to move service with teksavvy.

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so it seems that
I’m not the only one
that had more issues moving my
teksavvy
internet service then should have been needed.
after reading that post, I think I can speak for
james
and say we’re both glad we made the decision to ditch
teksavvy
as our internet provider, and
bell canada
as our phone provider, and move both services to
primus
where things will actually get done and we won’t get lied to.

an actual post, and it aint gonna be a nice one!

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***adult warning*** if you are offended by fowel language, stop reading now! ***end adult content warning!***
Ladies and gentlemen,
This post is an actual post, and it’s not going to be a nice one, and I frankly don’t give a flying fuck at this point.
The following logged conversation took place on march 21st, 2009 and my comments and the aftermath will follow.
First, the log itself.

Session Start: Saturday, March 21, 2009
vampiric poohbear (shane@shaned.net)
Naama (naamaerez_22@hotmail.com)
(7:50 AM) Naama: hi there, do you kow that I didn’t even know about hte meeting that took place with Larry in the radio room? I had no idea it ws going to happen?
(7:56 AM) vampiric poohbea: You’ll have to take that up with the board. Larry e-mailed the list saying he’d spoken with mitch and was given authority to take over the project, and that was that. please note you woke me up thanks.
(7:56 AM) Naama: are you being a jerk now/
(7:56 AM) Naama: you used to be so nice
(7:56 AM) Naama: I dont’ deserve this shit from you
(7:57 AM) vampiric poohbea: no, you woke me up. it’s just before 8AM on a saturday.
(7:57 AM) Naama: well didn’t you write to me at 2am ever for Mme?
(7:57 AM) Naama: if you dont’ want to be woken up, you can turn off messenger
(7:57 AM) Naama: so your true colors come out
(7:58 AM) Naama: believe me, I have some power to, o
(7:58 AM) Naama: I never gave you any reason to treat me like this, to talk to me like this
(7:59 AM) vampiric poohbea: I’m not giving you shit, I’m simply telling you how it went down, and if you have a problem with it, Is I stated before, take it up with the board and larry. I’m not management over their, and the politics of it all I could really care les about. larry supposedly talked to mitch, larry wrote the list, and the meeting took place. I don’t have a recording of said meeting because I was late getting their
(7:59 AM) Naama: I havne’t done anything toyou
(7:59 AM) Naama: yo never spooke to me like this
(7:59 AM) Naama: I dot deseve it
(7:59 AM) Naama: don’t deserve it
(7:59 AM) Naama: thanks for nothing
(8:00 AM) Naama: I gave you a ahcne when everoen on the old main menu team told me you were a jerk and that I should kick you off, including Larry
(8:00 AM) Naama: chance
(8:00 AM) Naama: when you applied to come back to acbri larry said never in hell
(8:00 AM) Naama: Larry hates your guts, dont’ forget, for what went down before you got kicked off
(8:01 AM) Naama: so good luck
(8:07 AM) vampiric poohbea: I do not appreciate waking up to this. If I was not wanted I wouldn’t have been send instant messages checking if I was going to attend said meeting. I do remember someone stating they’d approach you, and if that didn’t happen, is that really my problem? No, it’s not. I do my job to the best of my ability, and if people can’t or won’t appreciate it then what is the point of me even trying. I can and will work with anyone, and do tasks as assigned to me, no matter who’s managing the project, I do my job as assigned and if their’s a problem I will speak my mind, and ask anyone that’s known me long enough if I feel managements being rediculous I’ll be the first one to stand up and let whoever’s being rediculous have it both barrels
(8:07 AM) Naama has changed his/her status to Idle
Session Start: Saturday, March 21, 2009
vampiric poohbear (shane@shaned.net)
Naama (naamaerez_22@hotmail.com)
(8:29 AM) Naama: I was just talking to you as a friend, nothing special, just sharing with you, and you attacked me for no resson
(8:29 AM) Naama: I don’t deserve this from you
(8:29 AM) Naama: I helped youout without ou even knowing
(8:29 AM) Naama: so many people told me to kicke you off
(8:29 AM) Naama: and I had faith in you
(8:29 AM) Naama: Larry doesnt’ like you , he said some awful tings about you
(8:30 AM) Naama: and you are taking your shit out on me? you should be thanking me
(8:30 AM) Naama: I was just sharing
(8:30 AM) vampiric poohbear has changed his/her status to Appear Offline
(8:30 AM) vampiric poohbear has changed his/her status to Online
(8:30 AM) Naama: fine lblock me, youjerk
(8:32 AM) vampiric poohbea: I didn’t have to join the team, but i did because i had something to contribute. if you can’t appreciate it then that really isn’t my problem. now, if you have a problem with the way the meeting was put together take it up with the individuals responsible for calling the meeting, and leave me out of it.
(8:32 AM) vampiric poohbea: case, closed.
(8:32 AM) Naama: I wa s just fucking sharing with you
(8:32 AM) Naama: that’s all
(8:32 AM) Naama has been blocked

So after this little conversation, I basically let myself calm down, and then contacted Larry, (referenced in the above log) and also sent a copy of this to paul edwards and mitch pomerantz the ACB president and basically asked the following
1. Larry, did you say these things that naama has insinuated?
2. Do you indeed not want me apart of the ACBRadio main menu team?
3. Do you hate me that much
that you would let hell freeze over before I could rejoin ACBRadio interactive?
Does anyone wanna guess his response?
He never had a problem with me, never wanted me kicked off the main menu team, and he sure as shit didn’t say he didn’t want me back on interactive!
He even offered me the opurtunity to rejoin interactive in May once the knew management took over!
Ladies and gentlemen, with that, do you think he hate me? I think not!
Comments everyone?
I wanna here your opinions! speak up!