the blog of a bear

this is where a bear will post stuff.

relationships

the US after action report, and other musings.

by

Yeah, I’m lazy.
Deal with it.
I’ve been back on this side of the boarder, for what, almost a month.
in list format, because I’m just to goddamn lazy, and expanding thoughts undercafinated is not how I roll, oh, and because I can.

  • I returned from the states march 3, 2011.< relatively in tact, sanity not withstanding. Surf the blog in february for the few blog posts pertaining to it.
  • Came back to more ODSP horseshit, that will see the light of day when I’m not lazy and can form a comprehensive blog post on the stupid. short version, hi questionaire that attempted to say
    james and I were married. um, how about, not. That reminds me, I need to sign that, scan it and get it the hell back to the office.
  • More hospital related garbage, we think I’ve got a depression issue, but, that’s right, my health plan won’t cover meds to help me that don’t break my brain. now, where’d that money tree go?

  • I’m attempting to figure out relationship related things, partially due to depression, and partially other shit, that multiple people got the result of spued all over their monitors, thanks
    simon
    Kyra
    for dealing with the majority of it. I know it probably made your computers explode, but that’s ok, their’s the money tree, right? um, no. lol.
  • The hockey posts? knowing I haven’t posted a damn one since february 13, the short version, we suck, fuck off, and die, sums up the majority of those games. So, we’ll just forgo the spam that’ll happen if I attempt to catch up, k? sound like a good idea? yeah, that’s what I thought.
  • james mother is still of the opinion I don’t need ibuprofen, as advol is the same, and my specialist really really wants to slap her upside the head with something blunt. as me, and you all, probably know, when my specialist, (or now nearly my full time doctor, but more on that in another entry, maybe.), says bounce, this is what you need, it probably means get it and STFU. their are certain parental figures that need to learn the art of your not my doctor, she is, either help me get what I need or get the goddamn hell outta my way, k?

that, in squished format, is me.
Now, where the hell’s the money tree, and the cafinated beverages.

Tweet This Post Post to Delicious Digg This Post Post to Facebook Post to MySpace Post to Slashdot

Mirrored from shane and krista's rantings and musings..

It’s… Cluetime! Again? Really?

by

I thought I was done issuing clues to the stupid today? it’s almost 5 PM as I start this. I guess clue issuance doesn’t have office hours. Having said that, I guess stupid doesn’t either. And I take it those who issue clue don’t get sickdays? I could’ve taken one today. somewhere, one of you just asked, “Oh for fuck’s sakes, what could’ve possibly blown up now? Shane’s out of the country for Christ’s sakes!” Yeah, well of course he’s out of the country. but that doesn’t mean my family’s stupid license wasn’t revoked. Of course not. that’d be too easy. I’m digging through email again. Personal email. Translation: the address the family has. this can only end in cursing, right? Well, of course.

Over the past couple days, my mother seemed to have gotten some weed in her system, gotten the bug out of her ass, and started acting like a normal human being. she even cracked a joke in her last message about me buying her an iPhone for her 40th birthday. So you’d think that the stupid was if not gone, at least significantly curtailed, right? Excuse me while I pop your happy little bubble where everything’s perfect… Ah, there, that’s better. Incoming stupid! Duck and cover! (Note that the email address of the guilty party is not provided here for the author’s sanity and safety.)

Mon, Mar 7, 2011 at 4:08 PM
From: (My grandmother)
To: Krista Pennell

Hi Krista
Auntie called me last night and she wants to take you out to lunch for your birthday, I guess this weekend
she wants me to go too. Dad and I are happy you are coming home. Remember you can not bring Shane home
with you. I don;t want what happened for your birthday to happen. Email me back please
Love you

Now, let’s review, children, shall we?
When was Shane supposed to leave? tuesday.
When did he actually leave? Wednesday. We’ll blame Fitchburg State, the MBTA, and Greyhound for that, but that’s his deal not mine.
Who paid, more often than not, whenever we went to do something, whether it was traveling to New Hampshire to hang with friends, grab takeout because cafeteria food is meh, or go out to dinner by ourselves, without people whining they wanna go with us? that’s right, Shane did.
What did I contribute? I was able to pay for his food when his wallet walked off, give him a place to stay, and let him borrow my equipment while we waited for his to get here. (Thanks, asshole in Montreal, that was much appreciated. And asshole who jacked his wallet? Hell. Go there. now. Move). This trip was not under the niftiest of circumstances, as you well know, and as I’ve said before, we thank everyone who was able to pull it off the ground when it did go sideways.

that having been said, what the hell do I have to do to get it through people’s heads that he’s not taking advantage of me? Is my family really that overprotective, stupid, and unwilling to treat me like an adult that they’re hammering it into their own heads that he’s taking advantage of me? And how am I supposed to show them he’s not when they won’t give me the chance to? My mother, for one, complains that I don’t include him in anything. well, how do I do that when you won’t allow me to, you dumb ass? And grandmother, you know better. You of all people, know that I despise when people behave like that. You knew I didn’t want a birthday party, you knew it would’ve been too much for me to deal with. You knew I wanted Shane to meet everyone. I understand mother had a tantrum, oh my god, 2 and a half weeks ago, but that doesn’t give you the right to bring it up and throw it in my face. We’ve spoken of this before. I’ve told you I’m not going to be the old lady with 7000 cats just to make my mother happy and make her not have to, *gasp*, deal with people she may or may not like. the only person I’ve ever dated that she’s liked is cory. God forbid I date anyone else. she’s never liked anyone I’ve dated, with the exception of one guy, and that’s because his parents were filthy motherfucking rich. But he lived all the way out in Boston, and god forbid I be allowed to travel there. Oh, and he wasn’t necessarily college material either, so I guess the only reason she ever liked him was his rich family. Hell, she’s never really even liked any of my blind friends, again, with the notable exception of Cory. I know I referred in my last post to the poor guy whose family originated from Pakistan whom she ragged on so bad behind his back that I took pity on the poor kid and stopped talking to him. she never ragged on any of my other friends that bad, but when I hung around the few sighted people who would tolerate being seen with the blind girl in my early high school days, you could tell she was much happier about that. Take for example my friend Jay, who had one whole side of his face crushed by a jet-ski about 4 years back. He too, was blind. Did she ever rag on him, even if his face was scarred up all to hell? No. Did she rag on my friend who is wheelchair bound and only has partial use of one hand? No. All of these people have one thing in common, including Shane. That is that they all, somehow, look different. Hell, even I do. And we know she’s all over me constantly about my looks. So what the hell is her problem? Shane has done nothing to hurt me, nor has he done anything to her. When he met her, he was nothing but civil to her. And she didn’t give him any hell either. What seems to be the problem, now, and how the hell do I fix it? Given her previous history with friends of mine and people I’ve dated, how was I supposed to know she’d pull this on Shane? And why, suddenly, is my grandmother behaving like this? What’d I do to her? How’s he supposed to meet the rest of the family if they won’t remove their collective cranium from their rectum? Mother says she wants to see him included in things, and so do I, but how is that possible when everyone’s being stupid? How did they go from being accepting of this in November, to this attitude of disgust, now?
End brain vomit. Time to go get actual work done, now. it’s 7:35 and I’m still in an awesome mood because of that one email. Just… Meh. I hate people somedays.

Mirrored from shane and krista's rantings and musings..

a small note to hamilton dweebs. wanna try that again?

by

Oh god, the stupid strikes again.
So on a wim I dial up the ODSP IVR, the thing that tells me how much money I’m getting, or not getting, depending on your side of the fence, and get simarily told your file’s currently on hold.
after the appropriate amount of WTF happens, I ping my ODSP worker and go, last time I checked my file was fine, what the hell’s going on.
in list format have these appropriate amount of wtf results.
According to certain individuals I’m supposedly, ready?:

  1. Married to krista.

  2. We have a child on the way because I supposedly had unprotected sex.
  3. I moved down their perminantly and didn’t report that to ODSP.

firstly, how the hell can I be married to krista when we’re not even engaged?
Secondly, a child? seriously? how the hell’d that happen, from 400 miles away? that’d have to be one long ass dick, ok? just… omg.
Thirdly? moved down their? really? except not. Wishful thinking, but sadly, didn’t happen.
So the result of that, kathy, my worker, now has to issue appropriate amounts of clue to get this fixed, and attempt to not die while laughing.
Kathy indicates this little implosion that is the stupid should be fixed by friday at the *latest*.
I was highly amused, in a, are you fuckin’ serious? kinda way.
The lengths some people will go to.
just, jesus christ.
Please do be not trying that again. You’ll fail, again.
unrelated: CNIB? *totally* blind is just that, totally, 0, no, sight, so take your low vision assessment and shove it up your ass. it’s not needed in this apartment. thanks for trying, though.

Tweet This Post Post to Delicious Digg This Post Post to Facebook Post to MySpace Post to Slashdot

Mirrored from shane and krista's rantings and musings..

your thursday shall start, with a clue.

by

For those who still haven’t realized how this works, let me clue you in on a little something, and I’ll do you a favor and do it in list format.

  • I am dating Krista. and sorry, I don’t share.

  • She is not abusing me. unlike some others I could name.

  • She is not taking advantage of me, or using me to get away from her parents. nor is she using me to pay her financial way in life, like someone else I could mention.

  • I’m not in this relationship for sex, even if certain backwater scumbags think that’s all I think about/want in life/from a relationship.

  • I’m not using
    james
    and his credit card to get what I want in life. Nor am I using him to finance my upcoming trip to the states. This is paid for by me, nobody else. All james credit card did was hold the ticket, I paid for it out of pocket. once again, thanks for playing.

So in short, please, get you an education, get your facts straight and jump off the highist cliff available to you, and don’t take a parrashute with you either.
thanks for playing, next, please?

Tweet This Post Post to Delicious Digg This Post Post to Facebook Post to MySpace Post to Slashdot

Mirrored from shane and krista's rantings and musings..

oh oh! I’m invading the states again!

by

so, I’ve scheduled another trip to see krista.
That trip, scheduled from February 1, 2011 to march 1, 2011.
This aughta be loads of fun. *grin, bounce.*.
unrelated: wordpress quit breaking and making my formatting fall all over the floor when my lazyness strikes and I copy and paste posts from notepad. thanks.

Tweet This Post Post to Delicious Digg This Post Post to Facebook Post to MySpace Post to Slashdot

Mirrored from shane's rants.

a look back. the fuck have I been up to, in a nutshell.

by

So, while reviewing this blogs archives for the past just over a year it’s time I come up with one of these.
I refer you to the disclaimer of content above to cover my ass as somethings in review here people might not like but to damn bad.
For lack of the fact that I’m in a mood, have it, in list format in reverse chronological order.

  • July 2009

    • after breaking up with amber, I begin dating kerri, who has been refered to in multiple posts here on this blog.
    I get heavily involved with arik, her child.

  • September 2009

    • The relationship is still going strong, we’re in the middle of court central dealing with the fact that I’m supposedly blind, being a safety risk to children, yada yada.
    I also attend my first concert. Marralyn manson. Fun times.

  • November 2009

    • Kerri and i end up breaking up for a number of reasons we won’t go into.

  • January 2010

    • I end up moving out of the queen street apartments into another building in a better area of town.

  • April 2010

    • I end up starting to date chelsea, and we hammer out the meriad of paperwork required to get me across the boarder.
    I aquire my passport and the ticket to go see her.

  • May 2010

    • I go and spend a month in new york, meeting chelsea, and lauren, among others, and a grand time is had by all.
    During this visit chelsea indicates she’s not ready for a long term relationship. so their that goes.

  • June 2010

    • I return from the states to find the apartment I’m living in a mess, things not where they should be, etc. etc. etc.
    At that point I’d already been looking into moving, but that, things being out of place and nobody taking ownership for the apartments state of mess, shoved that move ahead by alot.

  • July 2010

    • I end up being hospitalized for what I thought, was a mild knee injury, but turned out not to be as mild as initially thought.
    This month also brought me into contact with krista, who has been previously mentioned here as well, and our talking and interactions brought us to dating.

  • September 2010

    • a ticket is booked to go see krista in november.

  • October 2010

    • Issues at my current residence at the time started heating up and plans were slowly coming together for a major move after my return from the states to live with now my current roommate
    james

  • November 2010

    • My 2nd trip to the states, and first meeting with krista.
    See entries from that month for complete details.

  • December 2010

    • My move from hamilton to petawawa rounds out the just over a year of interesting major events.

So, that, in a nutshell is major happenings since july 2009.
Surf the archive of this thing if your looking for something specific that I may have posted here.

Tweet This Post Post to Delicious Digg This Post Post to Facebook Post to MySpace Post to Slashdot

Mirrored from shane's rants.

a random post of… things.

by

This is unorganized and just me rambling, probably making no sense to anyone but to myself, but what the hell.
I’m writing this just before 10PM on a wednesday.
Their are relationships you think, might last, your not sure of, but you think they’ll last, and inevitably they fall flat on their faces.
Believe me, I’ve been their, more times in the past three years than I care to count.
Relationships I think will last, then, flop, gone, for one reason or another.
Then you find that one person, you don’t need words to express feelings, you can read each other, you both click, on more levels than you realize.
You don’t need to talk or repeatedly tell each other you love each other, you both know it.
The past 2 weeks, have proven that to me.
It’s been 17 days, and honestly, it doesn’t feel like it’s been 17 days. It still feels like yesterday I was leaving for boston, but reviewing tweets, blog entries posted while I’ve been here, yes it has been 17 days, and a pritty eventful 17 days it has been.
I’m saddened to have to leave, but my conditional clearance prevents me from staying longer, we can thank
american boarder control
for that.
Plans are already in the works for the next trip, we’re hoping beginning/mid february, or whenever tax refunds show their faces I’ll be able to come back.
I’ve gotten to know not only krista, but a lot of the friends she’s made here at colige and well, some of them consider me a fixture with her, the other day I was asked while walking down the hall, krista in class, by a random person that’d seen us around, where’s krista, in class?
I can’t find words, to express my feelings.
It saddens me that I have to go, but I know, either she’ll be coming to see me, or I’ll be back here, visiting her, whatever the case may be.
I’m gonna go curl up for awhile, so I’ll post later, or something.

Tweet This Post Post to Delicious Digg This Post Post to Facebook Post to MySpace Post to Slashdot

Mirrored from shane's rants.

part 2 of my trip to boston, we’ve arrived safely, yay!

by

so after the previous post, the trip wasn’t eventful I ended up making connections, but
as predicted, that 2 hour falling behind thing, pushed the schedule, back by 2 hours.
but I had a lot of help, both getting to boston, and from boston Logan international airport all the way out to fitchburg.
So I’m here, safe and sound.
We’ll come up with more blog material hopefully over the next 18 days.

Tweet This Post Post to Delicious Digg This Post Post to Facebook Post to MySpace Post to Slashdot

Mirrored from shane's rants.

so I haven’t posted in awhile, whacha gonna do about it?

by

Hey all,
I know, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted in this thing.
Whatcha gonna do about it?
Kinda been absolutely nuts around here.
Where to start.
Well a few things of note, on a few different topic fronts, and because I’m geekish we’re gonna list them like this

      on a personal front here’s what we’ve got

    • I’m no longer single

      • Meaning, a few individuals need to get over themselves and sit on an electrical fense and get electricuted to death.

    • I’m still on a hunt for a knew place to live.

      • This time it looks like we’ll be moving out of this city if I have my way.
      Speaking to
      james
      And his fiancee
      Jessica
      We came up with some interesting ideas. So we’ll see how that goes.

      on the travel front
    • I’m headed back to the states, again!

      • As of november 1, 2010 I’ll be headed to Boston, MA, to see krista, my other half that was referenced in passing, above.
      I’ll be spending 17 days in total their, not counting travel time.
      If we factor in the travel time, it’s actually 19 days total.

So as you can see, I’ve got a lot going on.
I’ll be posting more often, with more detailed postings, in the near future, just thought I’d throw this up so you all would know I’m still around.
With that, I bid you a good day, and this quick little post, is done.

Mirrored from shane's rants!.

my thoughts on a set of twitter posts.

by

so I haven’t posted in awhile, but this really has me wondering this individuals supposed love for this person, right here.

The following are 6 tweets that


Kerri Murtland

posted on


her twitter page.

They are below and numbered for your sanity.

1. Kerri Murtland: ok so as you all know Tuesday Im starting my STEPS program (specialized training and employment program) tbc… about 29 minutes ago at 12:59:40 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

2. Kerri Murtland: which means its another program to help me gain employment, Tuesday is also the day child tax credit is out. Tbc… about 27 minutes ago at 1:01:30 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

3. Kerri Murtland: so Josh calls me and asks if we can hang out said Tuesday, I said no Im busy why? His reply was tbc… about 25 minutes ago at 1:04:01 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

4. Kerri Murtland: because you get paid on Tuesday, Note to followers I had already stated that other than court Josh could not see me untill August tbc… about 23 minutes ago at 1:06:38 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

5. Kerri Murtland: If I get work who knows from there, Josh proceeded to pitch a fit because I cant buy his birthday present. Followers riddle me this. TBC… about 19 minutes ago at 1:10:43 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

6. Kerri Murtland: If someone claims they love you and their own selfish needs come before you bettering yourself is that love? Final. about 18 minutes ago at 1:11:54 PM on 7/17/2010 from mobile web

Ok, so. let’s do what I do best and have fun with this.

Kerri, has on numorous occasions, told one Mr. Josh Remmelzwaal, (refered to as simply as *he* here on out), that, she does not love him, they *are* not in a relationship, no matter what his little head, between his legs wants to think, and to get over her and to fuck off.

Yes, I did say, the head between his legs.

This is the head he thinks with, and not the head between his ears. That particular organ is filled with air.

So he still doesn’t get this point.

Let’s move on to the reason for this post, that being, his selfish behavior.

Let’s for a second here say for the reasons of this post, that he had a snowballs chance in the firy depths of hell of getting back with kerri for a second chance.

We all know this isn’t true, but let’s pretend, ok?

So, if he truly loved Kerri. would he

*continuely put himself before her

*continuely ask for birthday presents from her?

*knowing that Kerri’s attempting to better her life, bother the crap out of her and want to hang out and when told know, flip a fit?

Um, no!

If you truly loved/cared about someone, in my mind, here’s how this works.

*you, sacrifice whatever you have to, in order to support the individual you want to be/are with.

*you stand by this individual, no matter what life throws at you both, and if this involves more sacrifice, you do it.

*you do not act like a selfish prat, and think your crap comes before the other persons. especially when it comes to finances, if you get a present/something from the person you are with, you be happy about it, but you don’t ask for stuff for your birthday. Kinda, rude, yeah?

TO summarize, in my mind, Mr. Josh, is a selfish, too faced, idiot, who thinks about nothing but himself, and how much he can screw others.

He has no idea of sacrifice, no idea of what it takes to support someone, unless it is bettering him.

If it doesn’t better him, or he’s not getting money, he doesn’t give a shit.

So, in closing, I’m gonna say this.

Josh needs to, to quote a text from kerri

get over me, and move on!

with all that said, I await your comments.

I’ll post another time.

Mirrored from shane's rants!.