The things I find in my inbox.
thank god nun of my immediate/extended family has this last name.
Thanks krista for this one.
Top 20 Things You Should Never Do
If Your Last Name Is Weiner
20. Introduce yourself to an elementary school class.
19. “Just look at my license, I did not steal this car. I don’t
care what the people at Oscar Meyer say!”
18. Your motto: “Don’t fear the Weiner.”
17. Name any of your children Oscar, Meyer, Dick, Peter, Willie,
Harry, Seymour, Anita, Ivana or Rhoda.
16. Form a musical duo with Snoop Dogg.
15. Become a urologist and promote yourself as “Doctor Weiner,
the Weiner Doctor.”
14. Become a superhero: “Quick, WankerBoy — to the Weinermobile!”
13. Marry a feminist named Oscar, Little or Schnitzel.
12. Agree to be roasted.
11. Live the life of Spartacus, so that after you die, all your
buddies tearfully cry, “I am Weiner!”
10. Wear socks with sandals. It just looks stupid.
9. Refer to disciplining your child as “spanking my little
Weiner.”
8. Agree to be John Boehner’s running mate.
7. Become a partner in a law firm with Small, Johnson and Wang.
6. Use your name in vein.
5. Perform magic at your high school talent show as “The Amazing,
Astounding, Magnificent Weiner.”
4. Open a tattoo/piercing or massage/waxing business named after
yourself.
3. Co-sponsor meat-industry regulation bills with Barney Frank.
2. “This is America. If Disney can have a theme park, I can have
a theme park.”
1. Behave like one.
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