you can’t fix stupid, I’m telling you!

I saw this on a mailing list I’m on.
have fun.


Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I
saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
Chicken McNuggets.  I asked for
a half dozen nuggets.  ‘We don’t have
half dozen nuggets,’ said
the teenager at the counter.  ‘You
don’t?’ I replied.  ‘We only
have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the
reply.  ‘So I can’t order a
half dozen nuggets, but I can order
six?’ ‘That’s right.’ So I
shook my head and ordered six McNuggets


I was checking out at the local

with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on
the belt close to mine.  I picked up one
of those ‘dividers’ that
they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things
so they wouldn’t get mixed.  After the
girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the ‘divider’,
looking it all over for the
bar code so she could scan it.  Not
finding the bar c ode she
said to me, ‘Do you know how much this
is?’ I said to her ‘I’ve
changed my mind, I don’t think I’ll buy
that today.  ‘ She said
‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and
left.  She had no clue to
what had just happened.


A lady at work was seen putting a credit
card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. 
When I inquired as to
what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and
they kept asking for a credit card
number, so she was using the
ATM ‘thingy.’


I recently saw a distraught young lady
weeping beside her car.  ‘
Do you need some help?’ I asked.  She
replied, ‘I knew I should
have replaced the battery to this remote
door unlocker.  Now I
can’t get into my car.  Do you think
they (pointing to a distant
convenience store) would have a battery
to fit this?’ ‘Hmmm, I
dunno.  Do you have an alarm, too?’ I
asked.  ‘No, just this
remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it
and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked
the door, I replied, ‘Why
don’t you drive over there and check
about the batteries.  It’s a
long walk.’


Several years ago, we had an Intern who
was none too swift.  One
day she was typing and turned to a
secretary and said, ‘I’m
almost out of typing paper.  What do I
do?’ ‘Just use copier
machine paper,’ the secretary told her. 
With that, the intern
took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five
‘blank’ copies.


I was in a car dealership a while ago,
when a large motor home
was towed into the garage.  The front of
the vehicle was in dire
need of repair and the whole thing
generally looked like an extra
in ‘Twister.’ I asked the manager what
had happened.  He told me
that the driver had set the ‘cruise
control’ and then went in the
back to make a sandwich.


My neighbor works in the operations
department in the central
office of a large bank.  Employees in
the field call him when
they have problems with their computers. 
One night he got a call
from a woman in one of the branch banks
who had this question:
‘I’ve got smoke coming from the back of
my terminal.  Do you guys
have a fire downtown?’


Police in Radnor , Pa.  interrogated a
suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it
with wires to a photocopy
machine.  The message ‘He’s lying’ was
placed in the copier, and
police pressed the copy button each time
they thought the suspect
wasn’t telling the truth.  Believing the
‘lie detector’ was
working, the suspect confessed.


A mother calls 911 very worried asking
the dispatcher if she
needs to take her kid to the emergency
room, the kid was eating
ants.  The dispatcher tells her to give
the kid some Benadryl and
it should be fine ..  The mother says, I
just gave him some ant

Dispatcher: Rush him to the emergency

Life is tough, It’s tougher if you’re

Mirrored from shane's rants!.