1. Shane’s on a bus heading back to Ottawa.
2. I’m emotionally fucking wiped right out.
3. As a result of the above, I’m ready to stuff my foot up the ass of the next person who anoys me.
4. For the love of whatever may or may not be holy, please don’t let it be one of you.
5. Packing in a holy fuck hurry results in you not nowing where in the hell half your shit is. don’t try it at… well…no, you won’t try it at home.
6. If something doesn’t go right soon, I’m gonna snap and probably end up in the hospital getting downers by IV until they can find something they don’t have to shoot me up with that won’t make me a spaceshot.
7. Related: Murphy, back the fuck off or I’m gonna die and go wherever you are just for the sole purpose of kickin’ your ass, then I’ll reincarnate as a cat. (Preferably a spoiled and well-love one like mine.)
8. The visuals I could provide you with if Shane doesn’t get a work visa for the states could curl your toes, make your eyes water and essentially make you cry like a little girl and run away.
9. Also, a note to whatever cabbie drove me to a friend’s place for the night, I can shut the door myself thank you, there’s really no need to shut it on me, no, really, I promise. You’re quite lucky you missed and didn’t nail me in the rib cage because I would’ve called your manager and he and I would’ve had a conversation.
In summary, now that I’ve been sitting here spewing brain vomit all over the place, I feel somewhat kinda sorta more human. Now, let’s not have anything else turn into a royal fucking clusterfuck please and thank you? Good thing flip-a-shit-ometers are not actually physical devices, I’d’ve had to replace about 10 over the last week.